There is no news today

Nor any other day. We have no TV, no radio that can receive anything other than music and we are so far away from Kigali that the excellent “New Times” newspaper does not come here. We don’t miss it. This may be because our initial month here has been so absorbing and there has been so much to do and to learn.
BUT
We have had one or two excursions into internet news, although the connection is a bit slow for that. It has done little to inspire us to keep “up-to-date”. Some typical examples :

Trivial political stories - someone saying something nasty about Gordon Brown.
Personal tragedies – terrible for those involved, but only of fleeting interest to others.
Blindingly obvious background reports – Lebanon needs money to rebuild after Israeli attacks.

We are going to persevere and hope to get a radio in a few weeks for the BBC World Service, but it has been an interesting experiment to see from a distance that even with 24-hour reporting, there often is no news today.

The 4Fs of life in Rwanda

The list first – Fascinating, Fun, Fulfilling and Frustrating.
It’s fascinating because this is such a beautiful and interesting country (and Cyangugu is a particularly beautiful part of it). In addition, because people are so friendly, all our questions get answered, which makes it easy to find out about life here.
It’s fun, too – the Rwandans we know love to joke, so there is lots of laughter in the office and especially on trips in the pick-up. This is an unexpected bonus, I thought I would miss the Scottish sense of humour, but there is lots of humour here, too (of a gentler kind).
We have a real sense of “fit” here, of being where God has called us to be. It’s not that we are making a huge difference to people’s lives yet, but simply that we are in the right place at the right time and it is very fulfilling.
It’s frustrating for all kinds of reasons, too many to mention!

Applying the brakes

The relaxed pace of life here is lovely in personal life and I’ve generally not been too bothered by changed or frustrated plans, rescheduling or delays because of chance meetings. It has all been part of settling in and learning a different culture.
In my work, however, I have been feeling a lot of friction this week, just like putting on brakes, except that I have been trying to keep my foot on the accelerator at the same time! For reasons both within and outside my control, I have been plunged into work very quickly and not had time to get my office organised or read up all the background on the projects. My efforts to do this have been frustrated by a number of unexpected events : an extended negotiation with an American group over a disputed bill at the guest house, a power cut at home, unexpected visitors to the office and unscheduled trips to the bank among others. They are all a necessary and important part of my work, but they were not what I had planned to do and “no progress has been made”. It’s only me that is bothered by this, of course! It’s inevitable that the brakes will be on all the time I’m here, I just need to take my foot off the other pedal.

The grave in the garden

This is a lasting testimony to my inability to communicate by sign language. I thought I had asked Modeste, our watchman, to clear a patch of ground of some light weeds, as we intended to plant some vegetables. I came home at lunchtime to find him, under the full glare of the tropical sun, in a hole of grave-like proportions. I didn’t have the heart to fill it in, but we have converted it to a compost pit, so at least it will serve some practical purpose. An added bonus is that we now conform to Rwandan law, which states among many other things that every home must generate its own compost. Meanwhile, I did the weeding myself. Must get on with learning Kinyarwandan…..

Rwandan Sunday

600 The Catholic Cathedral helpfully rings its bell at 6am or thereabouts each day, so we don’t need an alarm. This morning it is supplemented by Archdeacon Azariah starting his motorcycle and by the cockerel next door. The dawn chorus is unusually muted today, or perhaps we just can’t hear it above the racket!
645 Breakfast time on the veranda. This is lemon season and the main problem is stopping more bushes and trees from sprouting everywhere. We already have far more then we can use. It’s toast with lemon marmalade, Rwandan coffee and water with lemon in it to wash down the doxycycline. We’re having a morning without bananas, which are nearly a staple diet.
745 We are trying to get away when my colleague Emmanuel shows up to introduce himself. It’s always important to spend some time chatting in these situations, even if it makes you 10 minutes late.
810 We meet up with David (my predecessor, who is doing a hand-over) and “the Toms”, 2 students who are visiting him, plus Mattias, who usually helps David to do his shopping in the market, but is our translator for the day. We have a nervous time when our Toyota LandCruiser fails to start and then we have to push it out of the wet grass after an unsuccessful bump-start, but finally we are on our way.
The journey takes 2 hours, 1 on the main road (slow because of pot-holes, steep hills and a police check), followed by an hour downhill through the forest (very slow because it’s a basic track with sharp corners, water erosion and steep drops at each side). I think abut our 2 minute walk to church in Scotland.
1040 We arrive unannounced at the church at Banda. There is no electricity here and no phone signal, so advance warning was difficult. We are warmly welcomed, despite interrupting the proceedings and introducing the need for interpretation. There are about 300 people packed in, lots of singing (2 visiting choirs) and a lot of announcements and welcoming. It’s literally a “church without walls”, as many of the bricks have been removed for use in the larger new building which is half-finished and just alongside.
1300 We are taken to Martin, the pastor’s, house where despite our protests we are fed on huge bowls of rice, chips, beans and some small bitter green aubergines. How did they do that? It feels rather biblical, as a young woman (who tells us she is still in p6) brings round a basin of water for us to wash our hands before we eat. Conversation over lunch is about people on the diocesan welfare programme, which I will be administering and about farming methods. We are shown a new variety of maize which Martin is introducing and meet his family’s pig. Pigs are easy to keep, breed quickly and sell easily.
1400 We spend the next 2 hours walking around the district and meeting people who have benefited from the welfare programme : a young epileptic girl, Aloe Vera, who has a pig; Gaspar who has a new house under construction and Andre who got a plot of land a couple of weeks ago and has managed to dig it all over in that short space of time. Even by Rwandan standards, Banda has a beautiful setting, in a valley surrounded by hills on every side. This also makes it very hot in the afternoon – the sun is fierce.
For the children, we are the afternoon’s entertainment and we end up with a troop of about 40, all very poorly dressed and a few holding hands with various members of our party. Spending money on children’s clothes seems to be a very low priority – they are certainly much worse dressed than the adults, although this is a community of subsistence farmers and the living standards are very basic.
1600 Eventually, we take our leave with the threat of darkness approaching in 2 hours. We end up with 4 extra passengers : Martin and daughter plus 2 young men who work as guides in Nyungwe Forest. We come across a family of baboons on the road as we head back through the forest. There are a lot of primates in the forest, which is absolutely impenetrable apart from paths.
1900 We arrive home 3 hours later than originally estimated and it’s hard to work out where the time has gone exactly. We don’t have to eat much after our unexpectedly large lunch, but Sheena is being very creative with the cooking and we have pancakes (with lemon, of course!).
2000 A couple of phone calls back to Scotland, we manage to get Skype working here for the first time and then we settle down to our escapist treat – watching a “West Wing” DVD. We have the whole first 2 series (thanks, Crawford & Fiona!) and we are already hooked. Bedtime is 2200, it has been a long day.

Milestones

Suddenly, quite a few milestones have passed. They haven't come regularly, but all in a rush - sharing a little about our plans with the church family, our daughter Jenny going to S Africa for 5 months and saying "goodbye" to the house, Sheena entering the last term at school, me handing in my notice and explaining to everyone at work.

We find ourselves in new territory, where everyone knows we are going. This makes some things a lot easier. It's not that we have ever kept it a big secret, but at least now there is no reason for not speaking openly. Some things are also harder - the way ahead is shorter and more defined. The milestones ahead (many of them goodbyes) are closer and as the pace quickens, there is more pressure to get things done.

It's also been a challenge, particualrly at work, to keep converstaions 2-sided and not just to speak about Rwanda. What we are doing challenges us enormously, but it also challenges others. My prayer is to have interactions whcih are more meaningful than usual because they are about what we are doing with our lives and about the most important questions of life.

Famous for 1 thing

The latest film about Rwanda has just been released (Shooting Dogs) and inevitably it is about the genocide (that sounds critical, but isn't meant to be : it is genunely inevitable that a tiny country in mid-Africa will only be of interest in te West because of something quite out of the ordinary). Whenever I speak to anyone about Rwanda, they only know about the genocide and my level of knowledge was the same until about 1 year ago. That was when we were offered a place in Rwanda instead of the DRC.

It got me thinking, though, of how many other countries in the world are famous, or at least known to me, for only 1 thing. The immediate examples are like Rwanda - Vietnam (the war), Cambodia (the killing fields). Given the way the media works, perhaps it will usually be bad news which travels the fastest.

What about Scotland? In Malawi, many people know us for giving them their Christian heritage and they are very grateful for it. It's strange that something which has been so weakened in modern Scotland should still be our source of "fame" in a remote country in Africa. It's also a challenge as we go to Rwanda, because we will be in a remote, media-free area (if such a thing still exists in the world) and we will be the way in which people know about Scotland and Scots. We won't just be "ambassadors for Christ" as the Bible puts it, but for many other things we represent. Being under scrutiny in a foreign culture is a scary prospect.

Breaking the habit

It was a hard thing to get round to telling my bosses at work that I was leaving. The discussion was not so hard, in fact very easy. After 7 years with the company and now in a senior position, I'm comfortable (that word again) and for the most part appreciated. These are powerful drugs.

I can see that this is what makes re-entry harder than leaving - ex-pats are usually (relatively) comfortable and appreciated, but then return to a society where they have lost their position and need to re-establish everything. However, I am not even away yet, this is all a bit premature!

There is a very important spiritual experience here, which I am just about to enter - renunciation. Compared to many, many people, what I am giving up is trivial. I am sure I will be more than compensated by life in Rwanda. I hesitate even to describe my situation in these terms, but it still involves the leaving behind of things which have become important, even addictive.

The laying aside of privilege, security and familiarity will, I am sure be one of the main challenges of the months ahead and I approach it with some trepidation.

This could be the last time

I'm not announcing the imminent and premature demise of this blog, but referring to the song by the Blind Boys of Alabama. I got it for my birthday last year and it has been something of a theme tune through preparations for leaving Scotland. The last birthday in Scotland for a while, the last Christmas until 2008, the last snowfall in early March (surely!).

All of these will be hopefully resumed at some point, but there is a darker, more serious side to all of this, because there may also be some real and permanent "last times" with people I know and love. There have been enough family funerals in the last few years, including some of our generation, for this to be a stark reality that occasionally brings me up short.

It is true, of course, that each time we say goodbye, or even goodnight, could be the last time, but we don't live as if it is. Leaving for Rwanda is causing me to be more appreciative of the times I have with people, to reflect on how I value them and hopefully to give more to relationships. The pain of separation is lurking just under the surface, though. I'm sure it will emerge more as departure approaches.

On the horizon

I'm now starting to notice how my whole perspective on life in Scotland has a very definite horizon in mid-August. There's nothing beyond that, as we hope to fly out to Rwanda then. There's no question about it, even 5 months away, it colours everything.

Preparation for Rwanda is also taking up an increasing amonut of time. This week the big thing is buying air tickets. This is one of the most irreversible things we have done so far, not just because of the large amount of money, but because it is an action. To explain - we have been thinking and talking about Africa for a few years now, telling other people about it for a few months, but we are now in a new stage of taking actions to go to Rwanda specifically, not just Africa in general.

Comfort

Comfort – cocoon.

Changes priorities;
Conceals need;
Clouds horizons;
Closes eyes;
Constrains movement;
Cramps muscles;
Cripples risk-taking;
Chokes spirit;
Congeals blood;

Comfort – coffin.

Insights from Northern Ireland

I watched 2 of the BBC programmes with Desmond Tutu in N Ireland, bringing some of his experience in "Truth and Reconciliation" to bear on a different situation. Riveting, harrowing stuff.
The Rwanda connection is two-fold - one of the main themes was how people can live alongside those who have murdered family members and one of Tutu's assistants was the Scottish widow of a Rwandan genocide victim.
The Northern Ireland setting made me realise how relatively minor is the sectarianism in the West of Scotland and how much deeper is the trauma in Rwanda. But can we compare these things?
The recruiting, grooming and training of young men by paramilitaries on both sides was very striking to me - some of them were deeply ensnared in the violence before they had left their teens and it completely shaped their worlds. It took growth into middle age, changing of the political situation, personal tragedies and often prison before they "repented" (not necessarily in the Christian sense, but in thinking differently). The leading astray or corrupting of the young always seems to me one of the most culpable of things.

If there was even a tiny insight into Rwanda, it was how deeply the grief of bereavement by violence can affect individuals and families, how difficult it can be to come to terms with and how long the effects can last. To use Tutu's words, it was indeed "humbling" to get a glimpse of other people's lives like this. I don't believe that outside of prayer, there is really anything we can do to prepare ourselves for facing this in Rwanda. It is too unimaginable. Humbling.....